You Are What You Read

The other day I was swapping books with my friend Kevin. I brought him Game of Thrones because everyone should read it, and I was perusing his book options and grabbed Ender’s Game. I then found another book I wanted to borrow, but instead of giving it up immediately Kevin wanted to know if I was currently reading something.

For people that read in a linear fashion, this question was appropriate. The issue was that Kevin had not yet read the book I wanted to borrow, so he was trying to determine if I would get through Ender’s Game, this book, and another book if I was reading one before he would finish his current book and Game of Thrones. I don’t really think of books that way, so it was a new concept for me. I’m now wondering if that’s how most people read: one book after another in the order you get them.

As for me, typically I’m reading around 3 books at a time.

This is a large part of why my house always looks cluttered. As I glance around my living room there are currently 11 books sitting around. I long ago started running out of space on my bookcase, so I now keep various stacks of books. Some are meant to go back to friends, some I’m just getting rid of, and I currently have a stack of books I’m debating whether or not to keep.

How many of those books am I currently reading? Well, not all 11. That would be excessive.

This week, I find myself in the midst of several books. I’ve been reading Les Miserables since the end of December. Unfortunately I have it on my iPad, so I rarely read it at home. I’m still torn on the e-reader debate. There are definitely some benefits. I actually downloaded Les Miserables while stuck in an airport. When traveling, it is convenient to be able to take my iPad with several books on it and not worry about finishing them and running out of reading material. However, it drives me insane that I can’t read while a plane is taking off or landing. Inevitably I end up taking both my iPad and one regular book.

It’s a very rare case where I can bring myself to read off the iPad at home. I prefer the feel of a real book. I can make exceptions for book club selections when I’m trying to read something by a specific date, but otherwise I just find myself waiting until the next time I travel.

So while I am currently reading Les Miserables, I have no plans to finish it in the near future.

I have two other books that I’ve been reading for quite awhile. In This Skin, by Simon Clark, and Dead City. Both are horror stories, and I’m about halfway through both. I stopped reading for now though because they were FREAKING ME OUT. I do like a good horror story, but eventually I get to this point where I have to stop or I won’t be able to sleep at night.

Back in college, I could more easily finish these kinds of books because I was constantly living with other people. It was perfectly okay for me to sit and read while everyone else watching tv or played a video game. I don’t really have that opportunity much anymore. What am I going to do, call my friends up and say “hey can you come sit around my house while I read a scary story?” Nope. I’m holding both of these books until the summer. I do much better out by the pool. Warmth and sunshine are still very acceptable methods of keeping the boogie men at bay.

What am I actively reading in the house? About four books. One I’m actually re-reading, and that would be The Lady of the Forest. Since I’ve read it many, many times before there’s no sense of urgency. Another book I just started is Neverland. I’m finding it hard to read. Typically I like to read while I’m snacking, or eating dinner. This book has been quite descriptive, and there’s a hardcore ick factor to it. I may end up saving it for the summer as well. Then I have The Forest House, which I think I started Wednesday after finishing Sex, Lies, and Online Dating. It’s good so far, but will probably take a bit to get through. The last book I’m actively reading is The White Queen by Philippa Gregory. I’m a little over halfway through but they’ve killed off some of the characters I like, and I can’t decide whether I’m invested enough in the main character to finish or not.

That’s why besides those four, I have two other books you could say I’m “reading.” I started both The Needle in the Blood and Mona Lisa Awakening in the last few weeks, but I haven’t gotten very far in either, and at this point I’m pretty sure I’m just not going to read them.

There are many books in the world I have started, but never finished. This can happen for various reasons. If I don’t like the main character, if I heartily disagree with something they do in the book, if I don’t like the writing, or if at the end of the day I’m just not sucked in.

In Mona Lisa Awakening and The Needle in the Blood I like neither the characters or writing. I haven’t yet firmly decided to give up on them. Again, I’m not very far in either book. Maybe it gets better? But with so many other options I haven’t felt like devoting the time to books I don’t particularly like.

Surely this is how other people read as well?

So I guess I can understand Kevin’s concern that I might not finish a book before he’s ready for it. On the other hand, I borrowed Ender’s Game on Friday, and I finished it yesterday. Why? Because it was AWESOME. When I focus on a book I get through it very quickly. That at least must be the same for everyone that reads.

Pick the Lie

Marilyn Monroe wasn't even her real name, Charles Manson isn't his real name, and now, I'm taking that to be my real name. But what's real? You can't find the truth, you just pick the lie you like the best.

-Marilyn Manson

Today is Get A Different Name Day, yet another of those random holidays ever so dear to my heart. Who even knew there was a whole day devoted to getting a new name for yourself?

Personally, I find this brilliant. There are so many people stuck with names they hate because their parents are either too boring or too original.

My name has plagued me for years. My first name, Jessica, was THE most popular name for girls the year I was born. Apparently my mother is a sheep and just follows the trend. She had main naming rights; my father was only allowed to do my middle name. My middle name is much more acceptable, but I’ve never felt comfortable going by it like other people I know that randomly tell you their middle name as if it’s their first name.

Going through school, there was at least one other Jessica in every single one of my classes. I had to laugh when my friend Kyli posted this link about 90s life and it mentioned the Jessica thing, because it’s TRUE. Many Jessicas were clever and went by shortened versions of their name such as Jess, or Jessie. Ironically enough, the entire reason my mother named me Jessica was so she could call me Jessie, and then she decided she didn’t like it. I personally have never felt right introducing myself as anything other than Jessica, so that’s generally what people call me.

Now I’ve since been told that when I introduce myself, I actually say my name oddly. Supposedly instead of saying Jess-I-Ka I say something more along the lines of Jess-Ka. Crazy. I don’t even hear myself saying it that way (same idea where I can’t hear myself saying muse incorrectly but everyone tells me it’s wrong so I’ve just stopped saying it at all).

It always really bugged me that half the other girls in the world had the same name as me. This meant I was relegated to being either the “nice Jessica” or the “short Jessica” or some other designation that I didn’t always like. This also meant meeting people and hearing things like “you don’t look like a Jessica” or “huh, I’ve never seen a Jessica dress like that.” I was so frustrated by this, one of my college application essays was all about how my name drove me to excel in life to separate myself from the Jessica pack.

So in theory, I should be renaming myself today. Except I CAN’T. How do you choose a new name? How do you redefine yourself and make it stick? Fact, I struggle just naming things like stories or characters. I have several baby name books somewhere in the house just for when I’m writing and I’m stuck on naming my characters. Not that the books actually help when I’m stuck on a name. They do however inspire stories sometimes where I see a name and just instantly get a character.

The only things I’ve ever enjoyed naming were my mixed CDs. Yes, back in the day when I still made CDs for the car instead of plugging in my iPod, I greatly enjoyed giving them interesting names. Since all my CDs were completely random mixes of music, the name didn’t really matter as long as I could remember it. This is how I ended up with gems like “Sugar Sweet Exposure,” “Beware Closing Doors,” and “Don’t Microwave the Monkey.” Oh and don’t forget the frequent passenger favorite, “Tie Me Down & Go GRR.”

We Kill Witches. What Do You Do?

I was at dinner last week with my friend Pietro and some of his friends when a commercial for Hansel & Gretel, Witch Hunters came on the tv. My reaction was instantaneous. Pietro ignored me, as he’s known me for years and is used to this sort of thing. His friends were quite startled. “Are you really THAT excited for this movie?” they seemed desperate to know (to be fair, due to my super excitement I was pretty much bouncing in my seat in the middle of the restaurant). I had to explain over and over just how amazingly awesome it was that the movie was finally about to be out. They gave me blank stares.

Of course I saw Hansel & Gretel over the weekend. Heck, I’d probably see it again if I could talk someone into it. And having seen it, I can say I LOVE the movie. Of course I can also say I think a large number of people are going to hate it. It’s just one of those.

Who will like Hansel & Gretel? People that like stylized, over-the-top violence, bad ass characters, snarky humor, and aren’t expecting a great plot. Picture a combo of fairy tales, sarcasm, and 300.

I have to say I am so incredibly happy the movie turned out well. I found the imdb page ages ago, and as the release date kept getting pushed back I started to fret that this would be another Snow White & The Huntsman. That may have ruined my year. I am already counting down the days until Hansel & Gretel is out on video and I can buy it and watch it a bajillion times.

Since I love this movie so much, I’m not going to do a For The Few post with spoilers. Oh no, I can’t even imagine accidentally spoiling this movie for any of those rare individuals that’ll love it like I do. Instead, I’m going to do the next best thing: a list of my favorites! Nothing below will impact your experience watching the movie. Pinky swear.

• The candy house from the beginning. It looks awesome. I have been seriously craving giant lollipops for the past week.
• Jeremy Renner as Hansel. You already know I love Jeremy Renner. Nothing in this movie goes against that. He’s edging dangerously close to Hugh Jackman on my potential celebrity boyfriend list.
• Jeremy Renner rolling under the bed. I cackled.
• Gemma Arterton as Gretel. I’ve loved Gemma Arterton since Prince of Persia. She is AMAZING as Gretel. I want to be Gretel for any upcoming costume events.
• Peter Stomare. If you don’t recognize the name, he’s had such interesting roles such as Satan in Constantine, Serge in Chocolat, and the guy eaten by compys in The Lost World: Jurassic Park (which I consider one of the worst deaths in that movie btw. I’d much rather be eaten in one or two chomps than slowly picked to death. Gross). In Hansel & Gretel he’s a giant jerkface.
• The anachronistic weapons. Love ‘em.
• The anachronistic constant swearing. Certain people need their mouth(s) washed out with soap.
• The sibling interactions. This is how I imagine my brother and I acting if we were totally awesome witch hunters.
• THE GORE! Oh, the many ways a person can splatter…
• The fanfiction potential. Seriously, people need to get on this. Stat.

Define "Nutritious," and Make It Include Bacon

Basically how I understand nutrition

This year, one of my goals is to eat healthier. Sounds easy, right? Especially since I never set the parameters, so it’s not like I have to eat a certain number of calories per day or cut out all fatty foods.

But I am finding it EXTREMELY challenging. To really get the depth of my struggle, you need to understand two things.

First, you need to know my typical eating habits. I believe I’ve mentioned before that I don’t actually believe in calories, and I do not follow any sort of healthy eating habits. I fully enjoy the eating process (again, Taurus here) so I eat things I like. What do I like? Bacon, cheese, meat, bread, and sweets.

When I like something, I want to eat it over and over and over and over again. And that’s all I want to eat. So a typical day of eating?

What I consider a balanced meal (balanced in deliciousness!)

Let’s see, if it’s a weekend I normally like to have bacon for breakfast. There was an unfortunate year where I was eating a full pound every time, but now I’ve been doing much better by limiting myself to only a half pound of bacon at once, and instead of eating it twice a weekend I’ll only have it one day (baby steps). So that’s breakfast. If I’m still hungry I’ll normally have some fried potatoes, or maybe eggs.

Later for lunch, I’ll go with one of my typical favorites of beef ramen. Now, prior to the ramen I won’t be very hungry because of all the bacon. There’s one thing you should really know in life though: food is a gateway food. Eating the ramen will make me want more food, so I’ll then have a snack of about 1/3 bag of buffalo pretzel bites.

Finally for dinner I’ll go with something simple such as boneless buffalo chicken, bacon cheese fries, chicken pot pie, or bacon quiche. Delicious. If I get hungry again later (which is very likely), I’ll eat a giant bowl of whatever ice cream I’m craving at the time.

So you may have already realized this, but EVERYTHING I eat is unhealthy. How have I managed to survive for years? Well as I’ve said before my metabolism is fabulous and still not dead. Plus, I have completely ignored all facts related to healthy eating. I’m sure I’ve heard things over the years like what one should eat and avoid, but I am super good at not wasting memory space with what I consider “irrelevant” information.

When I made one of my goals this year to eat healthier, I knew I would need to actually investigate and find out what that meant. I’m still not concerned about calories (I still don’t think they’re real). What I’m concerned about is not giving myself a heart attack at age 30 like everyone in my family has always expected.

But I’m busy, and lazy. Thus I haven’t done the research yet. Which means I’m just guessing what I think is or is not healthy.

You’d think I’d know, right? Well you’ve never heard me justify how the freaking delicious large white cheddar mac & cheese at Panera hits all my nutrition needs.

My first issue was at a pub in the Denver airport, trying to find dinner. I was searching the menu for something healthy, having recently been told that cheese is apparently not ideal for cholesterol or arteries or something (since when?!) I felt like fish is supposed to be good for you, so I went with that. Did I mention though it was fish & chips? Apparently once something is fried it loses all nutritional value.

Since it was now clear my own judgment was useless in this arena, I started bugging friends. We had almost a 10 minute discussion ordering lunch this week as I kept asking about the healthiness of various options like garlic bread and Italian fries. This process was so discouraging to me that for dinner I gave up and had potato skins, buffalo chicken, and boneless honey-chipotle wings.

Then at lunch two awesome friends tried to talk me through what type of food I might want to start including in my diet. This was a great discussion. We determined I could start making smoothies as a way to eat fruit. Brilliant! I need to go get a blender now, but I think this will really work.

Even better, at dinner Thursday night two other friends explained step by step things like “avoiding transfat” and “reading food labels.” They gave tons more suggestions on what to eat, and how to make the food more delicious.

This is especially helpful, because honestly most of the time I don’t eat because I’m hungry, I eat because I like the food. So when I have something in front of me that I don’t love, I struggle to eat it even when I’m legitimately hungry.

Like cheerios, but cuter

I’m very lucky that everyone else in the world paid attention to the health rules of life. Hopefully they stay patient with me until I get motivated enough to do my own research.

In the meantime, I did FABULOUS yesterday. I had whole hearts cereal for breakfast, a monkey bar, a frozen veggie pack thing for lunch, peanut butter crackers, and strawberry yogurt. Look at all that healthy food! All in one day! It’s a miracle.

This is madness. THIS IS CHRISTMAS!

My favorite of our pose series (none of which were normal)

My family is a bit different. It should thus be no surprise that we do the holidays our own special way.

Typically we spend the designated day (never actual Christmas. It used to always be Christmas Eve but now is normally the Sunday before Christmas) together - eating, drinking, and at the end of the night doing Steal-a-Gift. Gifts are wrapped up, people are given numbers, and on your turn you can either steal a gift from someone else or open one from the middle.

Last year, things got a little more exciting. My brother suggested that in order to determine who got best choice of the Steal-a-Gift numbers, we turn the day into a competition between two teams. I think most of my relatives were hesitant at first, but we gave it a shot. My brother, my cousins, and I made up the game committee responsible for selecting the games and rules for the day. My brother led the games for the day and everything went remarkably well until he broke his ankle playing walleyball. We stuck him in a chair and I took over.

Somehow this translated into me being in charge of the games this year as well. Actually this was probably more the result of my obsessive need to plan and organize. Every time my brother asked what he needed to do I told him “don’t worry about it.”

While our games last year were fun enough, they were randomly selected and poorly organized. I was determined that this would not happen again.

To start, about midyear I sent my family a survey. I had them review what they liked and disliked about the games, provide suggestions, and rate their favorites from last year. I used this information to update the games for the day and change the points the games were worth based on a combination of skill and interest. I tracked this information on a spreadsheet which also listed the games and points from the previous year.

Then I assigned tasks to various family members. Who had to bring what, who needed to select the teams… I also made a change to how teams were recognized. The previous year we had the team assignments before arriving and you had to wear your team’s color, either red or green. This year I determined we would have Team Elf and Team Reindeer, and provided festive hats for both teams. My grandfather got a Santa hat as he is the default impartial judge. This way we didn’t need an exact number of attendees ahead of time. While my father and I set up lunch, my brother randomly selected the teams and handed out the hats. There were some quick switches. The elf hat didn’t fit my dad’s big head so we traded him for my uncle. Then after lunch, I announced the games and schedule.

Hard at work puzzling

Some games were open for people to work on all day. Those were games like the Sudoku puzzles, and the gingerbread village decorating. There was also a puzzle for each team to put together. While they could technically work on it all day, only the team that completed it first received the points.

 

 Now as I mentioned some games were worth more points than others. However, I neglected to tell everyone else the point values. It became necessary at points to choose what to focus on. Who would finish the puzzle? Who was going to play walleyball? How many people would be left to work on the gingerbread village? I thought it would be interesting to see how they prioritized the games without knowing the points. While I was on Team Elf, I let others decide who was doing what without any input (besides saying I wouldn’t be playing walleyball. I loathe volleyball like you wouldn’t believe). The rest of my team went to play walleyball. When they got back and realized Team Reindeer had created the most amazing gingerbread village ever, the rest of the team decided to abandon any attempt at points. My poor cousin Ian was the only one that set ours up.

CHUG!

After walleyball we had a few games that were at set intervals. Teams choose their representatives for these games. There was a corn hole toss and a chugging contest. While my team ended up winning the chug as both team members had to finish in order to win, my uncle Jim surprised us all with his chugging abilities. My mother did poorly. The best part of this game? I didn’t tell anyone what they were chugging when they had to volunteer, just that it wasn’t alcoholic. It ended up being a combination of mountain dew and red Gatorade (red & green!) While I was totally amused, and the onlookers enjoyed it, I’m pretty sure all of the participants are going to vote against the chug on the next survey.

The last game for the night was a team Name That Tune. Keeping with the holiday theme we did Christmas music, and they only had to guess the artist. This was a new game for the year and I think the most popular. Also the scariest. I’m glad the teams were sitting separately. It may have turned violent.

Team Reindeer sits defeated.

In the end, Team Elf won for the day and got the better gift numbers. I was reelected as Game Commissioner, something that I want included on my epitaph. The family was entertained and still had a chance to reconnect with those of us spread across the world. It might not be the normal holiday celebration, but it’s some of the most fun I have all year!

Goals and Rules

Welcome to 2013! I’m feeling pretty good about this year so far. For one thing I’m up and moving, which typically isn’t the case on New Year’s Day.  For another I have chicken soup on the stove and it smells delicious.

Anyway, this is the time of year when we reflect on the past and plan for the future. Now last year instead of making resolutions I just made some general goals for the year. This year, I’m taking that one step further. I’m going to have my goals, and also have some rules. Kind of the dos and don’ts for 2013. Most of my goals are actually going to be some variations on last year’s, so let’s start with a recap!

Goal 1 LY (last year): Write one page a week.

The nice thing about the way I interpreted this goal was that averaging was acceptable. Thus if I wrote 4 pages one day I could really count it for the whole month. I stuck to it pretty well too until last month. However, I think I need to amp it up this year.

Goal 1 TY (this year, duh, keep up with me here): Write two blog posts a month, finish second part of fanfiction story, and write ONE ORIGINAL STORY BY THE END OF THE YEAR.

That last part is the most important. The whole idea of writing whatever last year was to ease back into writing fiction. I’m not going to put any restrictions on how long this original story will be, but by god I will write something, even if it’s short.

Goal 2 LY:  Work out eight times a month.

Totally nailed this one! I really counted it more as jazzercising at least eight times a month, which I still managed to do. So to make it more challenging…

Goal 2 TY: Work out ten times a month and make Club Jazzercise by November 1st.

Club Jazzercise is for when you get 150 jazzercise classes in a year. I am very much on the verge for last year. I’ll find out tomorrow if I made it or I was one off. I am freaking determined to make it this year. You get a shirt and everything. Plus the mad street cred. Now if you know any sort of math you’ll realize that going to jazzercise only 10 times a month won’t get me to Club Jazzercise. This is taking into consideration the busy months when I don’t have as much time between traveling to make it to class. I plan to go far more often than that.

Goal 3 LY: Cook more new recipes.

This was rather a crappy goal as I didn’t really define it well. What’s “more?” One? Two? I did decent at it the beginning of the year. I also started baking bread which was new for me.

Goal 3 TY: Cook home more often instead of eating out all the time or making frozen food.

I was doing SO good cooking for myself at first last year and then got lazy. Now again, this is very open to interpretation but that’s because with my crazy schedule I don’t want to say something like “cook three times a week” and then stress because I’m not home to do so. Goals should be something to work towards, not something to freak over. This also ties in nicely with my brand new goal:

Goal 4: Eat healthier.

This goal is not yet fleshed out as I need to do some research. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that I don’t believe in calories. I still don’t, and calories have nothing to do with this goal so I can’t just look for low cal options.

My family has joked for years that I’m going to die at 30, and that age is inching ever closer. I want to LIVE.  Apparently everything I eat is bad for your cholesterol & heart. My family also doesn’t have the best record with healthy hearts. I don’t want to completely change my diet, but I figure a few small tweaks might keep me alive a bit longer.

So those are the goals for the year. Now for the rules. I’ve actually had great success with rules before. I like having order in my life. I’m also stubborn about sticking to things, so rules work excellently for me. A lot of times I’ll also set up consequences for when I don’t follow the rules. I’m not quite that motivated this year.

Rule 1: Only three unnecessary purchases for myself are allowed per month.

Clearly groceries and house stuff are considered necessary. I never include books in any kind of budgeting rules, and I consider them necessary for my sanity anyway. This is more things like clothes, movies (buying to own, going to the movies is an activity and doesn’t count), and random mini objects.

Rule 2: DO NOT book bad hotels.

I already know I’m going to struggle with this one, but it’s necessary. Since when I travel the client has to cover the charges, I am in the habit of staying at cheaper hotels. Generally this works well. After multiple bad experiences though I am determined to step it up a notch and stay more consistently at hotels with better reviews even if they cost like $30 more a night.

So those are the plans for the year! Here’s hoping for a great year for everyone with lots of fun, happiness, and free t-shirts.

Clumsy is the New Sexy

So for those of us watching New Girl, who else was super excited when Dr. Rick showed back up? Of course technically on the show he’s known as Sam, but every time I see him I just think happily of Fired Up!

However, this also reminded me of a certain trend in portraying women that has been driving me insane for years. That is the Clumsy Girl bit.

I adore Jess on New Girl, but she also happens to be clumsy as all get out. During this episode where Dr. Rick reappears she manages to run into about 10 different walls. In one of the first episodes with him, they flash back to her issues with standing.

You have to understand I am actually not arguing that this is an unfair portrayal of girls. There are clumsy boys out there too.  Nor am I saying this is completely unrealistic.

The truth it, I am a clumsy girl. Accident prone. A walking disaster, if you will. Just this Friday, I was sitting at my desk having a phone meeting. Well midway through the meeting my left leg cramped up. Since I was all twisted up in some weird position, when I jumped at the unexpected pain, this also caused me to fall out of my chair (this friends is why you always keep your phone on mute during meetings until you’re actually saying something).

I’d like to pretend this is an isolated incident, but really it’s one of many. Back in college there was a guy that we always referred to as “The One That’s Afraid Of Me” (I said me, my friends would say you). He was in my freshman seminar along with several of my friends. Now typically I sat over with my friends, but I believe I was running late that day for whatever reason, so I ended up sitting in between him and Scott Cameron Cameron Scott Scott (we had a lot of strange names for people in college). The nice thing about this room was that we weren’t in desks. The bad thing was this meant I could tip my chair back. So there I was tipping my chair back and somewhat paying attention to the professor, when all of I sudden I look down and think “why am I holding on to the table?” I couldn’t think of a good reason offhand, thus I let go.

Why was I holding on to the table? For balance, of course, since my chair was so far tipped back. Meaning when I let go of the table, both me and the chair went tumbling backwards.

One minute I’m innocently sitting there, the next The One That’s Afraid Of Me looks over and just sees my legs in the air.  For the rest of my college experience he made sure to NEVER sit next to me again, and anytime he saw me he looked quite disturbed and afraid.

The really sad thing is this is actually a reoccurring experience. I totally did the same thing back in middle school during Earth Space Science. Even worse, I feel like I was wearing a dress that day.

So I am not arguing the logistics of clumsiness. What offends me is this new trend portraying it as something desirable. Not that New Girl is falling into this category, but let’s look at two popular book series: Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey.

Disclaimer, I hate both series so I am a bit biased. I also have only read the first Fifty Shades book.

But both books have this main female character who thinks of herself as completely average, boring, unattractive, and ungodly clumsy. Yet everyone else in the world spends their time trying to jump her bones. It is heavily implied that both characters are actually extremely sexy women just with confidence issues (and trust me, that’s a whole ‘nother rant right there). Their clumsiness is also implied to be part of their appeal.

I see this all the time in fanfiction too. There are characters called Mary Sues. They are original characters added to a story. They are super awesome and can do everything right, yet they have to be flawed in some way, so normally they’re also clumsy.

It’s like the world had a meeting I wasn’t invited to and decided if you want to keep a character from being too perfect, you make them clumsy. That “normalizes” them, but it’s also not as much a flaw as say giving them a gimp leg or OCD. It’s used as a plot device to give them vulnerable moments so the male lead can “save them” without being too obvious that the female needs saving.

I hate it. Seriously, this makes me practically foam at the mouth.

Being clumsy IS NOT SEXY. It IS NOT ROMANTIC to fall over all the time so people are trying to catch you. It IS NOT ADORABLE when people feel like they can’t even let you walk off on your own without you getting injured in some way. Oh and those bruises that inevitably show up everywhere? ANNOYING!

As a clumsy girl I’m not condemning people that are clumsy. It happens. Whatev, it’s just a part of life. Some people are super coordinated. Some people are not. I just think this should stop being the default flaw given to one-dimensional characters to try and give them a bit more dimension. It doesn’t work.

New Girl is actually a good example of clumsy done right. Jess is just all over awkward. Her clumsiness is one part of the whole. It’s not overplayed, it’s not something people are trying to fix, it’s just one tiny aspect of a very interesting character.