31 Signs You May Have a Jazzercise Problem

1.     Within five minutes of talking to someone new you have mentioned jazzercise.

2.     Every time you hear a song on the radio that you’ve done in class, you announce to whoever’s nearby “this is also a jazzercise song.”

3.     Notice you say “also.” This is necessary because at some point you have already told them something is a jazzercise song.

4.     When you hear a jazzercise song you inevitably run through the routine in your mind.

5.     How much you like/dislike a song now depends on how much you like/dislike a jazzercise routine.

6.     Certain songs tied to REALLY HARD strength routines make you cringe within 5 seconds of starting to play.

7.     This happens even when you’re not in a jazzercise class and they’re simply playing on the radio.

8.     When planning a vacation, you check to see if there’s a jazzercise location nearby.

9.     You plan your social events for the week around your jazzercise schedule.

10. You plan your work week around your jazzercise schedule.

11. You plan your meals for the day around your jazzercise schedule.

12. You become confrontational and may even threaten people when they throw off your jazzercise schedule.

13. You no longer like holidays, because classes are cancelled and it ruins the jazzercise schedule.

14. Friends have offered to come to a jazzercise class simply because that may be the only time they see you.

15. You have to consciously plan out ahead of time days to skip class so you have a “rest” day.

16. You’ve done laundry only for the jazzercise clothes.

17. You’ve run the dishwasher half full (or less) because you wanted your favorite water bottle for jazzercise.

18. In class, people have started avoiding your standard spot.

19. You have done the routines so many times you recognize when the instructors make mistakes.

20. You have helped the instructors correct their mistakes.

21. You have been asked multiple times to become an instructor.

22. When visiting other jazzercise classes, you have been mistaken for an instructor.

23. You’ve gotten less than five hours of sleep because you woke up for jazzercise class in the morning.

24. You’ve driven over an hour out of your way to go to a jazzercise class.

25. You’ve offered to be the designated driver simply because you’re planning on going to jazzercise the next morning.

26. Missing three days of class in a row throws you into a panic.

27. Even if you are legitimately sick for one or more of those days.

28. Even if you are still incredibly sore and experiencing muscle cramps for one or more of those days.

29. Even if there are exciting, rare social events during those days which is why you’re missing class in the first place.

30. You have to call your mother or best friend for approval to feel okay about skipping a jazzercise class when it’s not a planned “rest” or “skip” day.

31. When you realize that you accidentally missed class because you forgot it was cancelled and you didn’t go to the earlier one, you have to console yourself by making a list of why you have a jazzercise “problem” so you feel a little less guilty.

Hearing Is Believing

Which would you rather be, blind or deaf?

I remember when we used to play those sort of games when I was younger.  It’s very similar to Shag, Marry, Push Off a Cliff, but a little more morbid. I’m pretty sure I said I’d rather be deaf, and I’m sticking to that answer. Mainly because I’m highly imaginative and if I couldn’t see I’d be constantly interpreting noises in a weird, panic-inducing manner.

At its heart, the question is asking if you are more audio or visual focused. Some of you may have taken tests before to see which way you learn best. For a long time there was this assumption that men were more stimulated by visuals than women. I heartily disagree. I’m not going to go on a long rant of why this is/isn’t true. All I’ll say is check out this video and see if you don’t get some “stimulation.”

Anyway, I’ve always eschewed audio books. When I listen to a lot of talking I zone it out. It doesn’t feel concrete. I can’t remember what they’re talking about or what happened. If I see that same information in writing it’s far easier for me to remember.  I have the same problem with songs. I pretty much never know the lyrics. I can memorize the music pretty quickly, but unless I actually look up the lyrics or see them written down somewhere I’m going to forget them (or remember them completely wrong. I’ve been called out on that multiple times). This has led me to assume that I’m more visually dependent.

So imagine my surprise today when I realized that I generally recognize actors not based on their looks, but their voices. Here’s how it went:

Stardust is on tv (I got really excited about that, which is ridiculous since I own it on DVD) and of course I had to turn it on. I’m watching the first few scenes, waiting for Septimus to show up (he’s my favorite) and only half paying attention as I walk around the living room (I haven’t hit 10,000 steps yet today). Tristan and Humphrey are talking and I get horribly confused, because I keep thinking Henry Cavill is talking. Man of Steel was on at the same time, so I thought maybe I had turned that on without realizing it (I am constantly worried that I am doing things and immediately forgetting them).

It turns out Henry Cavill is in Stardust! I would absolutely never have guessed that Humprey (see left) and Clark Kent (see right) are played by the same guy. My mind has just been blown.

That video above? That actor plays the Hound in Game of Thrones. If someone hadn’t told me that I guarantee I wouldn’t have figured it out, but maybe that’s because he’s not saying anything in that commercial. The same thing actually happened back in the day with the actor that plays Septimus in Stardust. He’s also in Sherlock Holmes, and it was the voice that I recognized. Of course, his voice is very sexy and distinctive, so that could be part of it.

Basically this all feeds in to my secret fear that I do not recognize faces well. Did you know there’s actually a condition where people cannot recognize faces? It was in this one super freaky book I read involving brain manipulation. Clearly, I don’t have that, but I always feel like I utterly fail at recognizing people. I thought that the fact that I could generally pick an actor out proved I had some recognition capacity, but I think it’s actually a combination of voice and movement. The face doesn’t really come into play.

Maybe I’m overthinking it. So far I’ve made it through life without any major problems. And if we're going to play 'what if' type of games, I say: push Humphry off the cliff, marry Clark Kent, and shag Septimus.