Step 1: Make Sure This Is Really Happening
I was thinking today about how slackerish I’ve been on my
writing. I logged into Blogger just to see what my last post was even about,
since I couldn’t remember. Then I had several minutes where I thought my
dyslexia had reached epic proportions of awful because I couldn’t figure out
why the graph of recent views had 100+ on what looked to be a LOW visit day.
Turns out, I went (semi) viral.
Step 2: Figure Out WTF Happened
Detailed research soon revealed that a random post from last
year (31 Signs You May Have a Jazzercise Problem) was the cause of about 96% of
the views. I couldn’t get anymore information except that the bulk of the views
were coming from a Facebook link.
So I turned to Google.
Extensive Googling revealed that SEVERAL Jazzercise locations had shared this blog post! Oddly enough my Jazzercise had not posted the blog link, which is why I didn’t know this was happening.
Step 3: Tell People
Obviously it’s not real unless you immediately text or run
over and squeal at friends/family to tell them all about it. I figured while I
was at it, I should probably write a blog post about my success.
I also realized as I was telling people that it was the
perfect time to remind them of all the other facts this reveals. I can now
prove that I’m ridiculously clever, have an amazing sense of humor, and am
potentially the most amazing person they know. I’m also crazy humble and down
to earth about my success!
Step 4: Do a Victory Dance
Maybe even more than one if you’re feeling really excited. I
did. I decided it was a baking night so I could have celebratory dancing all
night long. This ended when the oatmeal cookies refused to cooperate, but there
was plenty of dancing squeezed in before that.
You don't get a picture of the victory dance. Deal with it.
Step 5: While You’re At It, Have a Celebratory Meal…
(actual dinner pictured on left)
…Or Drink
(actual mini champagne on right)
You know, or do both. Why not? I’m semi-viral. I totally
earned it.
Step 6: Calm Down
Of course a short time later I’ve completely forgotten about
it because I’m busy swearing at f***ing oatmeal cookies. It’s important to keep
things in perspective. I may be a Master Blogger (also known as Dumb Lucky
since this is more a Jazzercise promotion thing than an actual example of my
writing prowess), but clearly I have yet to perfect baking. F***ing cookies are
ruiners.
