I want to be the very
best
Like no one ever was…
-Pokemon Theme
Song
Last Friday I had a true chance to test my professionalism,
and thankfully, I passed with flying colors.
Of course one might ask, how do you define professionalism?
That’s actually the big problem in being a professional (just to clarify, I don’t
mean like in The Professional. I don’t
feel quite qualified to teach people how to be adorable assassins). Especially when you’re a
perfectionist, and you have to excel at absolutely everything you do. Acting
like a professional is really open to interpretation.
I mean sure, there are some basic rules. Don’t forget to
wear pants to the office. Don’t sip from a bottle of tequila all day. Don’t
record client calls and create your own “Call Me Maybe” video.
Past that though it gets a little more fuzzy. Take something
simple, such as, dress like a professional. Well what does that mean? A pants
suit every day? A cute dress? Accessories? What if your office is casual? You
need to walk that fine line between casual and complete slob.
What about hair? If you’re a guy and it’s long and shaggy,
is that unprofessional or a fashion statement? Are pigtail braids too cutesy?
Is it instant failure if you can see your roots, or is there a degree at which
they pass from acceptable to unprofessional?
I pride myself on maintaining my professionalism, although
it’s getting a little harder for me to define why. At this point I work from
home frequently, so dressing for work on those days has become a matter of
changing into my “work” pajamas. Initially I still dressed nice every day, but really,
no one can see me. I work just as well in my piggy boxers and a tank top as I
do in jeans and a blouse. Better probably, because I’m way more comfy. Never
question the motivation of a woman in piggy boxers. However whenever I’m
meeting with clients I still put on the ritz, so I think it counts.
When I am onsite with clients I also try to stick to
approved topics (like the weather, traffic, caffeinated drinks…) and not wander
into controversial territory like the coming zombie apocalypse. Despite my sandwich
issues I will eat anything they offer for lunch. The only reason my hair
does not currently have bright blue streaks is because I want to maintain my
professional demeanor.
So what is the ultimate test of professionalism that I faced
on Friday? The spider challenge.
In case you didn’t know, I have 3 big fears: selachophobia, cleithrophobia, and arachnophobia. Of course the spider issue
comes up far more often. I CANNOT stand spiders. I
do not want them anywhere near me. It’s not even that I think they might bite
me. That’s pretty much a non-issue. I would react just the same to a deadly
spider as I do when it’s a little bitty normal spider. I can't even handle pictures of spiders, which explains the lack of pictures for this post.
So on Friday I was on a
call with a client, innocently talking, when all of a sudden I was viciously
attacked by a spider (when I say viciously attacked, I mean it
was on my desk walking somewhat towards me).
Amazingly enough I kept my
cool. I continued to answer questions and finish up. I did not start shrieking.
I did not hurry them off the call. I calmly waited for them to finish, and once
I was off the phone, then I shrieked to my heart’s content as I tried to kill
the stupid spider while it jumped around. I was very impressed with myself.
This was like the ultimate proof of my professionalism. Really, the only way I
could better prove my professionalism is to maintain a client conversation under
spider attack while simultaneously fending off a giant shark. Thank god that probably
won’t happen. That one is a little beyond my capabilities.
To be fair, I should
probably close by mentioning a bit about my opponent, the evil spider. This
particular spider was black, and jumpy. It scuttled around quite quickly. Sure
I had the advantage when it came to size (it was about the size of the power
button on a tv remote. Possibly a little smaller), but it was wily.
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