The Lady-Bro

Today we are going to talk about an elusive and fascinating creature, the lady-bro.

A few weeks ago my brother and some of his friends determined that I am a lady-bro. Since then I have been trying to figure out what is a lady-bro, why am I a lady-bro, and is that something I agree with.

I argued with them several times on whether or not I should be classified as a lady-bro. This will feed in later to the definition of a lady-bro, but part of the reason I argued with them was a question of their motivation.

See, they also have this game called “bull moose,” wherein if you are drinking using your right hand and someone sees this and says “bull moose,” you have to finish the drink. They had tried this on me several times but as I had never heard of this ridiculous reasoning I was ignoring them, and finally they explained it is a very important game for gentlemen as that way when you are introduced to someone and shake hands like gentlemen, your hand isn’t cold. This only fueled my determination to not play since I am clearly not a gentleman. Probably not even a gentlewoman. And this friends is how it came about that they declared me a lady-bro.

It’s not that I was offended at being designated a lady-bro, it’s that I don’t think I really qualify. So that’s brings up the question, what exactly is a lady-bro?

Urban dictionary has a few definitions, the one with the least typos and ridiculous spelling being:

“A lady-bro is, first and foremost, chill. She is able to hold her own in the company of all males. She can relate to conversation at bro-night and can even offer further stimulation to the gathering. However, this characterization is not sufficient for the definition of a lady-bro!

She is more than just a girl who is refreshingly easy to hang out with. She is the girlfriend of a bro who is ALSO easy to hang out with.”

So right there, I’m out, as I am not the girlfriend of a bro. Nor do I wear tapout shirts or have black & blonde hair as some of the other definitions mention.

But in my mind, a lady-bro is more of a Robin Scherbatsky type of person. She can drink whisky, smoke cigars, and shoot a gun. She prefers dogs over cats and doesn’t do the normal girl emotional thing. Also, she’s smoking hot.

I cannot drink whisky to save my life. Scotch and bourbon are also out. In fact the mere smell makes me want to vomit. I do, however, drink beer. I know a teeny bit about it (like I know the difference between an IPA and a stout and what to expect if you tell me it’s “hoppy,” which in my mind is like the bare minimum of knowledge for a beer drinker but apparently is impressive for a girl to know).  

I realized though that the idea of a lady-bro ties back into the constant debate on whether or not girls can be nerds.

See there seems to be this mental image of girls as cat-obsessed, needy, crazy, calorie-counting, football-hating creatures that spend thousands on clothes, wear makeup to bed, and can’t understand or appreciate anything that men enjoy. Certainly some of these may be true for some people, and that’s okay. I am not here to judge. I just don’t understand why the assumption is that girls can’t enjoy “manly” things.

It may feel like I’m beating a dead horse because I’ve talked about this a little before, but it still irks me. Especially the idea that girls aren’t nerds. Apparently we’ve developed a term, lady-bro, for girls that share some guy traits, but we can’t even acknowledge that girls can be just as much of nerds as guys?

Just the other day I was betraying my nerd tendencies by talking about how I really wanted to name a daughter Trixie Hobbitses. I had a room full of people staring at me because they didn’t get it. My brother is playing WoW again and on one of our phone calls was describing all the ways they’ve changed the game since we last played, which of course makes me want to play WoW again. That would be a bad life decision though.

So it made me wonder, was I classified as a lady-bro because of general deviation from the girl stereotype, and not necessarily because I engage in “bro” behavior?

I don’t know, partly because sometimes I can’t judge what is “guy” versus “girl” behavior. I know in the summer I love to prance about in dresses. That seems girly. I also know I love Archer, and I recently found out that is considered a “guy” show. Really? Why?

Am I lady-bro? I don’t know, but partly because I don’t know whether there should even be a lady-bro designation. Why can’t we just accept that there is no longer a clear-cut difference between “girl” and “guy” conduct? But since we seem determined to stick with those labels, would I be more of a lady-bro than a girly girl? I still can’t decide. All I know for sure is that if you try and call bull moose on me I will slap you.  

TVD: The Best Bromance Ever. Period.

This is TVD week! To celebrate the season 3 release on Tuesday, every post this week will concern vampires and The Vampire Diaries tv series. Be wary of some spoilers, although I will avoid anything uber important from season 3.

When Alaric first appeared on the scene in The Vampire Diaries, I actually thought he was a vampire. My friend Jenn & I were both watching the show for the first time in the same few weeks, so I texted her how it was totally obvious that he was a vampire. It should have been a big clue when she didn’t respond (she was further in the series than me). This was a case of clever misdirection. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised I fell for it. I’m the girl that falls for almost every single trick play ever in football.

But it seemed like Alaric HAD to be a vampire. He was uber concerned about making sure he was wearing his ugly, giant ring. He was all broody and mysterious, and yet charming. I believe he even made it a point to get invited in once? Maybe? Or maybe that’s all in my mind (clearly I need to re-watch season 1).

Turns out Alaric was actually a self-made vampire hunter. Even better! Every good vampire series needs a hunter. Alaric was decent enough at it. I still liked him, and as long as he killed the bad vampires it was fine with me.

Of course there was some tension between Damon and Alaric, as Damon had killed Alaric’s wife and was in fact the whole reason Alaric was a vampire hunter. But you know what’s awesome? They got past that to become a regular pair of bros.

The bromance of Damon and Alaric is possibly my favorite thing about the show. After multiple attempts to kill each other they end up reluctantly on the same side. At first the tension is still there. They’re snarky to each other, and you can tell all they really want is to bash the other’s head in.

Somehow this evolves into camaraderie. See both men are tormented. They’re far darker than the other happy-go-lucky citizens of Mystic Falls, and they’re more willing to accept collateral damage in order to meet their goals.

These two are frankly adorable together. They drink, they kill, and they plot behind Elena’s back for her own good. Sure in season 3 there was some trouble in paradise, but overall their friendship stays strong.

So in honor of this bromance, I thought I’d include my top five favorite Damon-Alaric moments.

5. Drunken Conversations.

Damon: I was drunk when I told you that.

Ric: Yeah and I told you I’d use it against you.

This scene occurs near the end of season 3 and has such major spoilers going on that I don’t want to go into detail, but not only did I find it incredibly touching, I loved that it referenced Damon & Alaric drinking and sharing offscreen, because this information transfer certainly never occurs when we’re watching.

4. Trust Issues

In season 3, episode 2, Elena persuades Alaric to help her behind Damon’s back. But SURPRISE! It’s Damon!

3. Team Awesome

Midway through season 2, Alaric and Damon team up to try and figure out whether or not the new girl in town is a werewolf. Alaric acts like a drunken creep and then Damon smoothly comes in to save her. Then, in a totally obvious manner, they both watch her obsessively to see if she drinks the wolfsbane and reacts.

2. All Apologies

At the beginning of season 3 Damon and Alaric have hit a rough patch, mostly due to my favorite moment ever below. Eventually Damon apologizes and they make up. Why this is awesome? It is not a sappy scene. Damon offers a crap apology that he JUST used on someone else while Ric was there, Ric calls him on it, but accepts it anyway.

Just how bad is the apology? Here it is: “Well… sometimes… I do things I don’t have to do.”

1. Wake Up

So if there’s one thing we know about Damon it’s that he doesn’t always think through his actions, which is made abundantly clear when he kills Ric near the beginning of season 3. Knowing Alaric will be reviving shortly, Damon brings him back home and wakes him with some special morning drinks (not entirely sure what they are. Looks like vodka and lemonade perhaps?).

Unsurprisingly Alaric gets mad and calls him a dick. Just that fact that Damon waited for him with drinks though made me cackle.

While those are my top 5 moments, everyone has their own. I wanted to also include my friend Jenn’s favorite moment, since it just barely missed out on my top five list.

Special Guest Moment!
Checking In

Near the end of season 3 Alaric is having some issues and can’t be left on his own. Elena shows up at his apartment in the morning to check on him. Damon, who was there during the night, answers the door and is very cagey with her. Of course we’re left wondering what’s wrong, but as soon as Elena walks away it’s apparent they were just working on some man projects together. Too cute.