So I’m a little late to the game with this, but this evening
I happened to find the “documentary” Megalodon and decided to watch it. I
remembered that a few weeks ago when I was traveling I saw my Facebook feed
blow up with mentions of megalodon but had no idea what was going on, was too
busy to find out, and was so exhausted by the time I got home that I forgot all
about it.
I actually had a little bit of background on megalodons
before watching the show. Why? Well, remember the 5
Ways I Definitely Don’t Want to Die and how I’m crazy terrified of sharks?
As I mentioned I’ve ALWAYS been afraid of sharks. It’s not something that developed
after watching some movie or tv show. It’s an instinctive fear. In fact, I am
mildly convinced I was eaten (or bitten) by a shark in a past life.
But anyway, my parents realized pretty quickly that I was a
little insane on this issue, and they tried various approaches to handle the
situation. Clearly, none of those attempts were effective. However some of
them, like the “suck it up” method, at least taught me to try and act normal in
public. Others might have actually made things worse. See my parents thought it
would be a good idea if I learned more about sharks. After all, the facts prove
how unlikely it is to be attacked by a shark, let alone die from an attack.
My mother got me an adorable kid’s book about sharks. It had
very nice drawings and all sorts of important facts. She pointed out that baby
sharks were called “pups” to make them seem more loveable. She highlighted the
sharks that can’t even bite people, like the whale shark. We even bought a few
“baby sharks,” which were fish that looked like little sharks, so they’d be in
our fish tank and I’d get familiar with them.
The problem was this didn’t make me any less afraid of
sharks, but I developed a strange addiction to learning more about them. I did
a project on sharks in high school. I buy books on shark attacks. Every time I
see an article online about sharks I read it. I draw the line at watching shark
week, because seeing them in action is terrifying.
Megalodons were mentioned in that first book from my mother
about sharks. Of course it highlighted the fact that they were extinct. Over
the years I’ve read a few articles when people have new theories about
megalodons. Then, I foolishly read the “Meg” fiction series about megalodons
still existing in the trenches of the ocean. So it’s fair to say I’m familiar
with them.
When I saw the “Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives” listing
I assumed it was just a documentary talking more about the shark and their
theories on it. I jumped in almost an hour into the show. You can imagine my
confusion when they were talking like there’s really a possibility the
megalodon is still around, and possibly tied to some recent whale and boat
attacks.
Due to the way I was lying on the couch, I happened to have
my hand resting against my throat, and not even 5 minutes into the show I could
literally feel my pulse going wild. Within 8 minutes, I had to text my father
because I was already starting to panic about the idea that maybe megalodons
were swimming merrily around the coasts. Thank goodness he pays more attention
to life than me and knew it was a hoax.
Even knowing it wasn’t real for the rest of the documentary,
I almost had a mild heart attack when they decided to try and tag the shark
near the end. I was doing my fair share of screaming at the screen. I mean
seriously, you’re trying to catch a megalodon and you don’t have like a
battleship?? Not only did their main boat seem way too tiny to me, but they put
people in a CAGE and then had to rescue them in tiny little speed boats. OMG
are TRYING to make me die of panic??
This is why I don’t watch Shark Week.
The good news is that there’s no current evidence of
megalodon. Phew.
Should there ever be even a hint that megalodons are still
alive, I may never enter the ocean again.
It’s been an ongoing struggle just to go swimming at the
beach, and that’s in places like Rohobeth that aren’t really known for their
shark attacks. I refused to go on a cruise for years because I hate being on
boats in the water. It’s not that I think a shark is going to capsize the boat
(that’s just crazy), but what if it sinks for some other legit reason? I’d
still be in the water in the middle of nowhere.
I was heavily impressed with myself when I did a cruise with
friends a few years ago. Even better, I managed to talk myself into snorkeling,
which was an absolutely amazing experience. I’m so glad I did it. Of course you may wonder, how exactly did I
get over my fear for this? Well, I made all my guy friends going in the water
with me swear that if a shark attacked they would drag me back to the beach no
matter what, and I stayed near someone at all times, and still was in a
constant state of anxiety the whole time in the water. Honestly, I’m amazed I’m
alive.
But if I even start to suspect there’s megalodons running
amuck, you’re going to have some work convincing me that even something like a
cruise ship is big enough for safety.
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