It’s Only Weird if it Doesn’t Work

It might just be me, but everywhere I looked the past two days had posts about the coming snow storm such as jokes about the “snowquester” and tips for making sure school was cancelled.

Actually this was fairly useful. I learned some new superstitions for ensuring snow days. I already knew the classic pajamas inside out and backwards. I’ve never heard of a “snow dance” but I’ve probably done it unintentionally. Apparently putting ice cubes in the toilet, spoons under beds (or pillows), and white crayons in the freezer also works. Who knew? Not that I really expect much snow in Texas, but it’s better to be prepared.

I take superstitions somewhat to very seriously. It depends on the particular superstition. One of my favorite commercials this year featured various football fans and their superstitions, with the ending line of “it’s only weird if it doesn’t work.” Loved it. So true too! We all know my beloved team, the Steelers, had a bleak season after I was traveling constantly and unable to wear my lucky clothes and watch the games.

Now general superstitions, like breaking mirrors, walking under ladders, and black cats don’t really concern me. In fact the only time I really think about them is when playing one of the best slot machines ever, Hexbreaker. I do, however, have my own superstitions.

You may be already familiar with the “rabbit, rabbit” belief. Basically you’re supposed to say “rabbit, rabbit” on the first day of the month. You have to say it right away, before you say ANYTHING else. Some areas have a variation where you need to say it three times, rather like Beetlejuice. It’s supposed to be good luck. If you manage to say “rabbit, rabbit” first thing on the first of the month, you’re supposed to have an awesome month.

For years as a child I tried this. The problem was I failed miserably at remembering to say it in the morning. Who thinks about things like rabbits when they’re being dragged out of bed and forced to get ready for school?! It wasn’t until high school when I actually started to remember occasionally. And guess what? Every single time I managed to rabbit properly, it was a BAD month. Not like a combination of bad things. More along the lines of some sort of major bad life event happened, such as wrecking cars, unexpected moves, or people dying.

Thus it became clear to me that in my case, “rabbit, rabbit” is actually unlucky.  I now avoid saying it when at all possible. That’s harder than you think, because I may have brainwashed myself enough that sometimes I try to say it in the morning before I fully wake up.

I’m also superstitious about birthdays. Well, just my birthday. I love birthdays for other people! But for me, I consider my birthday bad luck. It never works out well. I see myself rather like Penny in Happy Endings with a birthday curse. This particular belief is so bad that I no longer celebrate my birthday. Generally I won’t even acknowledge when it is. Friends have found many ways to “cheat” the system and I appreciate their efforts and enthusiasm.

My other big superstition, really the end-all-be-all of my crazy beliefs, is around the number three. I consider it super awful bad luck.

This isn’t exactly unique. Actually the character Novalee does the same thing, although with different numbers, in Where the Heart Is. Oddly enough in the book it’s the number seven. In the movie, it’s the number five. I guess they thought it was too weird to think the number seven unlucky.

The number three is my worst unlucky number, but I also distrust the number nine. After all, it’s the number three times three. I don’t particularly like the number six either, but I’ll accept that it’s not as devious.

How do I handle this superstition? I avoid third floors, the third pump at the gas station, and any dangerous events on the third of the month. I’m waaaaaay more cautious in September and March. I drive super carefully anytime my car mileage has an excessive amount of threes or nines.

Like Novalee, this superstition came about after several unlucky events involving the numbers three and nine. What’s worse, in college when I was talked into watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose I learned that 3:00 AM is the “devil’s hour.” Considering I wake up around 3:00 AM almost every single night I find this terrifying, and further proof of bad luck. Allegedly the most deaths also occur between 3-5 AM. PROOF I TELL YOU.

Now if someone woke me up at 3:00 AM on the first of March and made me say “rabbit, rabbit?” in all likelihood I'd probably survive (probably), so I suppose we can't take these things too seriously... unless it's related to football.